Vortex-9: Gravity Crushed Their Brains, and Now They’re Just Rolling With It
- Department of Propaganda and Experiences
- Feb 20
- 2 min read
Updated: Mar 3
Thinking hurts here. You’ll get used to it.
Vortex-9 packs gravity so thick it flattens brains into mush—this system’s a sprawling dump where smarts bleed out faster than grog at a brawl. Locals don’t think; they grunt, swing, and stumble into wins, scraping by on 40 words total across millions of planets. It’s a galaxy of raw instinct—fights spark over spilled rocks, and genius means lighting a stick before it burns you. Every corner’s a sweaty tangle of dumb luck and dumber pride.
Arguments fizzle ‘cause nobody recalls the grudge—governments roar into power on loud bellows, then flop when the yelling stops. Wars break out over who pointed hardest, and peace comes when they forget why they’re mad. Cavemen tribes stumble into breakthroughs—like fire or a good club—then worship ‘em ‘til they break. It’s a gritty circus of morons you can’t stop watching, a dopamine hit of pure, unfiltered chaos.
TFRTA hauls you to OOGH-IV, where cavemen bow to flames and flops with equal gusto. The Friendly Robot Travel Agency bets you’ll love grunting at the sky—bring Wishbones, ‘cause clarity’s off the table, and the shuttle might stall mid-flight. This galaxy’s a brain-dead thrill you’ll hate to crave.
Connections:
OOGH-IV → Cavemen make fire their king and math their myth.
Brad’s "Pharmacy" → Slug juice is their holy grail.
Tee-Hees → Rick rates the dumbest rush in the PTU.
Rick’s Review:“Brad’s slug juice knocked me out, iCount’s a grunting mess, and the Red Light District married me off to a rock—don’t ask. Vortex-9’s a galaxy of idiots tripping over brilliance, and I’m still laughing at the crater I woke up in. 4 Tee-Hees—dumb’s never been this fun.”