The "Holy Hell That’s Hot" Spa—The PTU’s Spiciest Getaway
- Rick
- Feb 21
- 1 min read
Updated: Mar 6
Lava’s the least of your burns.
The Dragoons of Den’s Crevice don’t believe in comfort. They believe in pain, endurance, and watching lesser beings suffer for sport. That’s why they built the "Holy Hell That’s Hot" Spa, a facility that offers exactly one service: exposure therapy by way of molten agony. The baths aren’t designed for relaxation—they’re designed for survival. Dragoons lounge in searing pits of liquid fire, casually discussing financial strategies while visitors boil alive in real-time. No one is forced to enter, but the moment you hesitate, you’ve already lost. Step in, and the Dragoons will watch closely—not to help, but to place bets on how fast you’ll break. Some last seconds. Some make it a full minute. A rare few become legends—either by enduring or by leaving pieces of themselves behind.
The Friendly Robot Travel Agency does not offer refunds, cold towels, or second chances. If you enter, you either adapt, disintegrate, or provide valuable entertainment. Should a Dragoon hand you a drink, take it. It won’t cool you down, but it will make the suffering funnier.
Wishbone Cost:
Rick’s Review:
"Told myself it wouldn’t be that bad. Stepped in, felt my soul separate from my body. Before I could scream, a Dragoon handed me a drink. No words. Just a slow shake of the head, like they already knew. I tipped every Wishbone I had and crawled out before my bones turned to soup."