Planet Zee—Patience is a Virtue (And a Business Model)
- Rick
- Feb 2
- 2 min read
Updated: Feb 20
Planet Zee thrives on a grind so punishing it’s a twisted masterpiece—zombies shuffle through paperwork older than the dust they drag, forging a bureaucracy that’s less system, more gauntlet carved from time’s cruel hand. Deals stretch across decades like frayed threads snapping under strain, queues twist into ancient rivers of despair, and every stamp’s a bet that’ll outlast your fading pulse. The air buzzes with the stale rot of waiting turned feral—living and undead claw for a nod that might never drop, hooked on a game where patience isn’t noble, it’s profit, a slow-motion heist raking in every soul dumb enough to linger, a dare you’ll love to hate ‘til it breaks you.
Desperate fools chase a brew at Brain Bean Coffee, where a 1-in-100 shot dangles like a cruel mirage—most leave with dust and a snarl, a maddening tease worth the sting. Planet Zee bows to Barry, the First Official Sponsor Zombie, who spins this muck into gold, his half-a-brain outwaiting every chump who thought they’d beat the clock, a quiet kingpin you can’t unsee. Meanwhile, Miss Planet Zee Pageant drags on forever—undead queens strut ‘til they’re piles of rot, bets piling high on who’ll decay last, a grotesque spectacle begging you to watch ‘til it’s just bones and echoes. It’s a planet daring you to outlast its relentless trap.
The Friendly Robot Travel Agency runs shuttles to this molasses hell—pack Wishbones, ‘cause TFRTA bets you’ll bribe through Zee’s endless snarl, a PTU thrill where the slow grind hooks you ‘til you’re numb, victorious, or a ghost lost to the shuffle.
Connections:
Brain Bean Coffee → One sip’s a ghost worth decades of grit.
Barry, the First Official Sponsor Zombie → Half-a-brain rules the slowest con alive.
Miss Planet Zee Pageant → Queens rot before they reign—bet big.
Rick’s Review: “Planet Zee’s a slog that’d make a mob boss blush—stood in line ‘til my gears rusted, watched zombies forget their own names, and left with a grudge bigger than the galaxy. The Thalorian Arm’s cement blocks move faster than this dump. 2 Tee-Hees—only ‘cause the sheer stubbornness deserves a nod, but I’d rather nap through it.”