Heliumdrum’s Repopulation Effort—A System Designed to Fail, Perfectly

It works exactly as intended, which is the problem.

In a desperate attempt to save Heliumdrum’s dwindling population, scientists developed the Repopulation Machine—a high-tech marvel that breathes new life into Poppies at a premium price. Customers select a species, watch it reinflate before their eyes, and, for a fleeting moment, believe in progress. Then, the Pricks step in. Nobody knows who funds them, where they came from, or how they keep getting away with it. What’s clear is their purpose: to make sure Heliumdrum never wins. No matter how many creatures are reinflated, they are popped before they can take a second breath. The machines hum, the counters tick up, then down. Always down.It’s a perfect system, if you think about it. The cycle never stops. The funding never dries up. The hope never fully dies—just deflates, over and over again.

The Friendly Robot Travel Agency recommends arriving with realistic expectations and a strong stomach. If you still think you can save this planet, congratulations—you’re their ideal customer.

Wishbone Cost: 

Rick’s Review:

"Paid a fortune to repopulate a balloon giraffe. Watched it reinflate, get a name, and take its first official bounce into existence. Eighteen seconds later, a Prick appeared out of nowhere and popped it mid-stride. Scientist didn’t even flinch. Just reset the counter, held out his hand, and asked if I wanted to ‘keep the population trending upward.’"

Rick’s Tee-Hee Rating: